Poems From The Past

I got the idea to write out some old poems I found. I wrote these mostly when I was 14, a couple, 15. I was a very depressed teen back then, I wrote for hours every night trying to find inner peace. here are the results:

.:Written when I was 14:.

I run into my room
I knew this was going to happen soon
I grab a razor dorm my drawer
Slam my door
Sit on my floor
I just want to leave
But instead, I pull up my sleeve
I make a fist
As I hold the blade to my wrist
Think bout a bunch of shit
Dig the blade into my skin
Fuck, it hurts like a bitch
And so...
I make one quick slice
Hope this ends my life
Bright red blood slowly drains
Very slowly, from my now open vein
As I lean back
The entire room spirals into a deep, dark black
Now I know there is no turning back
I look around, take one final breath
Remind myself I have nothing left
As I gently close my eyes
I think about all the lies
Every single time I cried
I guess this is goodbye..?

.:Dated - September 21 2005:.
I sit here in my blank room
With everything to think of
And nothing to do
My mind races
Thinking of so much shit
I shouldn't have taken that extra hit
And why the fuck did I sniff so many rids?
When I knew that I would end up like this
I feel happy for a little while
But then I begin to think in denial
I think about all the pain
And wonder if it will ever go away
I hate this feeling
I feel insane
When will this feeling go away?
But lets face the facts
Consider the truth
What is it that I have to lose?
Lets face the important fact:
Life's a bitch
And then you die
So fuck the world
And lets get high

.:Sleep Paralysis:.
To have a dream
While fully awake
When trying to sleep
In deep thought
Not tired
Not even close
Yet I have a dream
What's wrong with me?

.:Trance:.
Close your eyes
Clear your mind
Don't think at all
Just let yourself fall
Into a deep trance
Know your safe
Your happy
You've nothing to fear
Know the end is nowhere near
There is no longer a reason to weep
Just close your eyes
Feel the beat

.:Fuck You:.
Fuck you
Fuck what you do
Fuck your God
Fuck your belief
Fuck you and your "crew"
Fuck whoever you screw
I fuck the system
The system fucks you!

.:Random:.

All these dreams I have
They never seem to make sense
Or maybe they do?

Your beautiful eyes
Tell the story of you life
Not to mention death

Sitting
Lonely but not
Forgotten I hope
But that sounds more intriguing
Alone

Music
The music heals
It can soothe everyone
If only they could take time and
Listen