Decisions, Decisions...

So, last post I wrote this:
I know what love is.
I know what lust is.
--EDIT--
No, I don't. I like to think I do, but really, not many people understand the difference.
I am a victim once again of believing my own lies. I have been doing this far too often as of recent, and I would like to stop before I push myself over the edge. I wish I could transcribe all of my recent feelings and emotions onto this computer screen, or my journal I never write in, or even words. But I just can't do it. I am in such a state of denial right now, I've never experienced this feeling. It should not last much longer, maybe a year or so, somewhere around there, maybe for the rest of my existence.

When it all comes down to it, I just want to cry. Just like I used to when I was younger and less experienced with tragedy, love and heartbreak. I remember putting on music, lying on my bed, and just letting the tears naturally flow. Now, even the saddest of situations barely make me form a single tear. I almost cried today, I saw someone I once had deep feelings for. I had not seen him since we were together, and it was almost cry-worthy. I am not completely numb; I still feel love, very strongly in fact. It's the negative emotions that barely bother me any more. My ups are way up, but my downs are neutral, which is somewhat a good thing.

"If I lay here, If I just lay here, Would you lie with me, and just forget the world?"