Regurgitation

Friends. What is the definition of friends? I know longer know this. I would like to believe the amusing fact hat I had many of these, but I am truly not completely sure of it. Do I have any now? I am really not positive. I like to think that I do. But, what is a friend? Years ago, a friend was somebody I could do drugs with and be intoxicated with and we would amuse one another.
Now, a friend seems like an annoyance, somebody I must impress, or amuse. There is the slight chance that I have simply yet to find a real friend, but there is also the chance that friendship is simply not as I remember it. I am beginning to think that the second point in more valid. These people that talk to me day to day, at school and outside of school [sometimes], do they truy believe I am their friend? I would gladly go as far as saying they are a friendly acquaintance, but I would leave it right there. Is my vision of these supposed "friends" in my past skewed? Incorrect? Impossible? Do it even happen?!?!

This a question I ask damn near religiously, far too often than other human being should. Do I confuse reality with dreams? Actually, yes, I do. I really have done this numerous amount of times.

That being said, what is reality? Getting back on the topic of insomnia, reality is a dream. It is the unknown. It is a wish along with everything else that is normal to the "strange" person. I am the strange person.

I am the one whom asks questions. Questions that should never be asked, answers that should never be given. I know what your thinking; "Damn, this girl is crazy." Define crazy. Seriously. We all fit the description for some sort of disorder. If 100 people were to see a psychiatrist. maybe, just maybe one person would walk out with the label of normal. The sad thing is, we are all tricked into believing there is something wrong. All the time. We can no longer live our life in happiness. Every person must be afraid, be very afraid. Tap water is bad, but bottled water is too. Amphetamines are bad, but coffee is good. Students in school are not allowed to be on recreational stimulants in the school, yet coffee and caffeinated beverages are solg in the cafeteria. (Seriously, my school does not sell decaf coffee)
Point is, everywhere we turn, there is negativity.

I know from experience and hours of research that much what we are told is just not the truth. This is why asking he question of "why", really is a good idea. It really is unfortunate that many people cease to do this. They are damn near unable to even begin to THINK about questions the ethics and orgin of this "research" or the news we see on television. This is ridiculous!
We are being controlled. Everything we are told we believe to be true. What is going on?
What has happened to humanity? Where is everybody? I personally find it quite pathetic that the truth is so incredibly easy to seek, yet we do not do it! It is hard to understand, yes, but once it is understood, a whole new feeling of enlightenment is reached. Well, it is the closest thing to enlightenment that I personally have reached.

There are so many distractions available, the truth is not relevant anymore. Years ago, people would take part in conversation, read a book, do something to exapand their knowledge. Now? Now we watch movies, play video-games, and, yes, watch television. Watch a group of strangers interact in a house. Or a group of strangers try to survive on a deserted island. What the hell.
I pity myself and everyone with the potential to do something great in life whom live in this generation. If humanity doesn't restart from scratch, we are just going to eventually kill ourselves with all of the bombs, war, and technology and pollution. I don' see this as a bad thing, and no one else should either.
We must break free and realize what we are doing to this planet of ours (only get one). Earth is close to be inhabitable. If we continue with our trends, We will NEED to relocate. They must stop playing God. Saving and creating lives unnaturally. Science is the best thing we have, but it is also whats going to destroy us and our planet.

Why won't everybody just be themselves? Make their own life, create their own opinions. There's this girl in one of my classes, she forms everything she says on whatever I say. Today we had a student vote, and as I ws marking my ballot, she stood right behind me, viewing which party I was voting for. As soon as we arrived back to class she begins to expand on how much she likes the party I voted for, yet she couldn't even tell me what they stood for or what they had planned on changing.
This sort of behavior happens far to often. People consumed by the media, needing everything advertised. Celebrity glamorization. I never understood why a persons face should be on every product imaginable simply because they once sang a catchy song or two.

Why are we so scared? Everyone is worried about everything they should not care about and they just bypass everything important, the real issues.

This is random: As I was walking up the stairs just now to get to my science class, there were two boys in front of me. Their pants were down PAST the asses while their plaid boxers were pulled up to nearly the middle of their backs. They were twins. They had the same style pants, belts, shirts, I even think their boxers were the same color and all!