Wow, Thats a slap to the face

My life is weird. For every good, positive thing that happens to me, something bad happens to someone around me. Or I get this huge slap in the face, what some would cal a dose of reality, I suppose. Well, here it is, it just happened about 10 minutes ago.
"You know how you said you scared that one day I'll wake up and decide I don't want you living here anymore? Well, I have a feeling that day is coming soon."

Well then, okay, here it is: Reality. Life. FUCK.
Is this what I get for trying to have a social life for the last......5 days? Sorry I've been out making friends and enjoying life, even though I really don't feel as though I should be sorry. Anyways.
Point is: Holy shit, my life is about to undergo a serious change. What am I going to do? Get room mates? Get a job? What about school?!

I have no family, period, so I truly have NO safety net at all. Everything is easy for him. He has tons of family, a job, and he basically owns everything we have together. I have nothing. Like, seriously, nothing! I don't know what I'm going to do. This can work, it can. I'm really disappointed that I may have to drop out of school though, again. The people I have talked to about living with have told me they will not let me drop out of school, so that definitely helps out a lot, because I have their support and all. But like, whoa. I'm kind of scared now. I thought this was what I wanted. And I know it is! But having......everything! My whole, entire life ahead of me: That is overwhelming.

I can't believe that only a year ago......Not even...We were typing out of wedding guest list. We were going to get married and get a house, ect. You know, do everything the old fashioned way. I honestly thought that my life was already set in stone to be a mother and wife. Wow, are things ever falling apart! This is for the better, I know it is. People do this all the time. I'll be okay.

Now I'm stuck with: Now what? I need so many things all of a sudden!
Okay, one thing: I need money. Okay, that is settled. So lets say I continue what I'm doing: Going to school and looking after Mark, which makes me a very minimal amount of money. Then BOOM! I have to move out. Then I'll have to drop out of school! Which means, I'll be wasting all this time in school that I'm doing right now. Looking after Mark- Well.......*shrug* is it worth it? If I need serious money, this is not going to cut it. I suppose Ill have to build up....Buuut....I'm not really used to all of this. Damn relationships and their force of dependence!

Then there's the semi-long term plans. Like, do I want to move to Toronto in May? Okay, so, say I do. Uhhm...The what? Then I'm in Toronto. I know 4 people there. I still need a job of some sort. Then, at least eventually I will need an education of some sort. How the heck do people manage this? Supporting themselves AND going to school?! Holy shit.

I'm just overwhelmed. Soon I will have nothing, and that scares me. It's going to take a lot of work, but I can do it.