I'm not sure what to post about today. No idea, at all. I feel like I really need to monitor what I write on here because so many people [whom I weren't really aware of], actively read it. It's okay though, I'm not mad =) But, sometimes I do get into moods of sorts and write about things that I wouldn't necessarily voice publicly if I wasn't in that particular mood. But, it is nice for people to read them, even when I don't exactly want people too, simply because they will never know any other way, considering the fact that I normally shut up about personal issues and feelings.
I am very pleased to announce the fact that I am able to salvage 3 credits this semester, despite the fact that the daycare situation is well...non existent I suppose I could say, for the meantime. Also, A big thanks to family for offering to watch Maia to allow me to go to school a couple days this week, it is GREATLY appreciated!
I am very pleased to announce the fact that I am able to salvage 3 credits this semester, despite the fact that the daycare situation is well...non existent I suppose I could say, for the meantime. Also, A big thanks to family for offering to watch Maia to allow me to go to school a couple days this week, it is GREATLY appreciated!
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The other day I was attempting to organize my journal entries from the past 4 or so years. I was reading them, sparsely and I came to wonderful new realization: Listen to your heart. I don't know what was wrong with me back then, but I completely went against so many things I felt wrong about doing! I wrote things saying how I didn't think things would work out, or I knew [insert person/situation] might not work out. But I went through with things anyway. Now, don't get me wrong, it is not at all that I don't believe in not making mistakes, but there is a limit.
Expanding further on the topic of mistake making, (and I just kind of adopted this way of thinking recently), think of things this way: If there is a mistake to potentially be made, if you do not make the mistake, then you will not know for sure that it is a mistake, therefore the bigger mistake is not taking the risk, to find out if it even was a mistake in the first place.
I am more than positive it could be worded better, but, I'm sure you understand the value of it. So, basically, you don't know until you try, simply put.
This being said, I now know what mistakes I have made, and I, unfortunately realize that it's not too late to change them. This scares the hell out of me.
I was talking earlier with a friend about being alone vs being social. It was stated in our conversation that it's better to either:
A.) Be constantly surrounded by people
-or-
B.) Be constantly alone
This is due to knowing. Knowing what could be. Being alone and knowing what it's like to be surrounded by friends, and waiting for the next option to be. (Annoyance)
This applies to many things. Things such as my life. I know what could be, and that bothers me to such an extent, that it's difficult for me to think of anything else.
I am ambivalent.
This is my life, living in a pathetic state of forever contemplation. I thank my God for allowing me to conceal this fight on surface, otherwise, I wouldn't have the friends I do have. Also, in the essence of friend-keeping, I'm trying this new thing where I hide everything. Okay, well, not everything, but negative things, simply because; it annoys them, makes me seem like a very negative person, gives them a distorted view of who I am and mainly because living a happy outter life is the fist step to acheiving a happy inner life. This is a new 2009 Resolution, listed among MANY others.
The other day I was attempting to organize my journal entries from the past 4 or so years. I was reading them, sparsely and I came to wonderful new realization: Listen to your heart. I don't know what was wrong with me back then, but I completely went against so many things I felt wrong about doing! I wrote things saying how I didn't think things would work out, or I knew [insert person/situation] might not work out. But I went through with things anyway. Now, don't get me wrong, it is not at all that I don't believe in not making mistakes, but there is a limit.
Expanding further on the topic of mistake making, (and I just kind of adopted this way of thinking recently), think of things this way: If there is a mistake to potentially be made, if you do not make the mistake, then you will not know for sure that it is a mistake, therefore the bigger mistake is not taking the risk, to find out if it even was a mistake in the first place.
I am more than positive it could be worded better, but, I'm sure you understand the value of it. So, basically, you don't know until you try, simply put.
This being said, I now know what mistakes I have made, and I, unfortunately realize that it's not too late to change them. This scares the hell out of me.
I was talking earlier with a friend about being alone vs being social. It was stated in our conversation that it's better to either:
A.) Be constantly surrounded by people
-or-
B.) Be constantly alone
This is due to knowing. Knowing what could be. Being alone and knowing what it's like to be surrounded by friends, and waiting for the next option to be. (Annoyance)
This applies to many things. Things such as my life. I know what could be, and that bothers me to such an extent, that it's difficult for me to think of anything else.
I am ambivalent.
This is my life, living in a pathetic state of forever contemplation. I thank my God for allowing me to conceal this fight on surface, otherwise, I wouldn't have the friends I do have. Also, in the essence of friend-keeping, I'm trying this new thing where I hide everything. Okay, well, not everything, but negative things, simply because; it annoys them, makes me seem like a very negative person, gives them a distorted view of who I am and mainly because living a happy outter life is the fist step to acheiving a happy inner life. This is a new 2009 Resolution, listed among MANY others.
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In other news...
Yesterday, the whole no-sugar thing was starting to make me ancy. Luckily, I don't keep any sweets in the house at all, but I found pancake mix. I didn't have syrup though.. So I made mini sweet-cinnamon pancakes! They were delicious!
1 cup Pancake Mix
3 Tbs Sugar
1 Tbs Cinnamon
About 3/4 cup water
They were quite yummy with butter on them, we also added chocolate syrup to a batch to make chocolate-Cinnamon pancakes!
In other news...
Yesterday, the whole no-sugar thing was starting to make me ancy. Luckily, I don't keep any sweets in the house at all, but I found pancake mix. I didn't have syrup though.. So I made mini sweet-cinnamon pancakes! They were delicious!
1 cup Pancake Mix
3 Tbs Sugar
1 Tbs Cinnamon
About 3/4 cup water
They were quite yummy with butter on them, we also added chocolate syrup to a batch to make chocolate-Cinnamon pancakes!
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