Some Needed Insight

So, just to put it out there: I have an eating disorder. Borderline Anorexia or something like that. Basically, I hate eating, it's the last thing I want to do. DO I tell people? No, of course not. Why? Well because then they question things and force me to do the last thing I want: Eat. Plus, people my age don't take this issue as just that, an issue. It's more than a choice, much more. So, a few hours ago, my neighbour invited me to her house. We talked, and somehow the topic of eating disorders came up. It turns out that her eldest daughter was bulimic and anorexic after dieting once when she was about 14, and later committed suicide when she was 17 because she just couldn't handle things anymore. WOW! This gave me a massive perspective on the topic! I didn't really realize how serious this could be. I really need to do the right thing before things get too bad. I was researching effects of anorexic behaviour today, and I'm starting to show some of the signs. So, I ate a lot today, and I plan to do so every day from now on. I hate eating, I hate the feeling of being "full", I love the feeling of being "hungry". I'm happy I am able to reverse this, and so, I begin.